I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hippo gnu deer
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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