Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
