How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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