Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
