I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
