I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
