We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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