Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize