She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
3pm strippers are depressing
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
