I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
someone owes me an orgasm
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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