Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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