she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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