So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
