nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
