Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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