Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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