I could make wine with my vomit
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
