i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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