Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
