wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
