Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
