I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
