yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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