So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
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I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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