She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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