its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
