I'm laying in your front yard are you home
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
