and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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