I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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