Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
