I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
