chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
