My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
