The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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