Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
