wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
