Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize
