I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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