Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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