i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
