Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
