im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
