He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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