I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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