just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
