he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
