If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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