You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize