yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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