i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
