He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I would fuck him just for his dog
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
