I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
