I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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