there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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