why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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