you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
