I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
