hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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